Author: Jonas

At the end of last year I was stretched pretty thin with many different projects: At Civil Action Network we’ve been growing our circle of collaborators, strategizing, fundraising, revamping our website and ideating intensely over the last year. Simultaneously I’ve been getting more and more involved in the microsolidarity network, hosting a summer camp, running online practice programs, designing new course content and contributing to developing the long term vision for the network. In between all of this the core of my work is working with people: coaching changemakers and leaders through challenging decisions and supporting them to align their actions more with their values, facilitating group processes and leading trainings on skills for regenerative transformation.

With all of these projects and strands of work my deepest desire is to contribute to a radical shift in culture: away from a domination paradigm, toward a partnership paradigm; away from extraction, toward regeneration; away from urgency, toward spaciousness; away from “we should”, toward “this is us”. It is very clear for me that at this stage of my life, with everything that’s going on in the world, this is what I’m called to. 

At the end of last year I had to admit to myself, that the way I was showing up to this calling was out of integrity with what it is that I was trying to do: I was constantly chasing my todo list, never quite letting go of my mental image of what needed to happen next. I was juggling with too many things at once and in the process lost enthusiasm for what I was doing. I was always tired, dragged myself through long days and frankly didn’t enjoy what I was doing (except for coaching and hosting events, somehow my work with people always brings me back). When I realized that I was burning myself out in the name of regeneration, partnership and justice (the thing that I supposedly help people to avoid) in November, I decided to take a month off over christmas and new years. This was one of the better decisions I’ve taken recently. 

My time off was not very introspective. I didn’t go deep in to reflection mode about the last year nor did I set many intentions for the next. Instead I enjoyed spending time with my family, catching up with old friends and going on an epic 7 day mountain adventure with some of my favorite people. I spent a whole week at home in Vienna with out any plans, just connecting with my room mates and doing whatever I felt like. Finally I travelled to the south of spain to join some friends who are prototyping a future retreat center with a 3 month experiment. Spending time like this was the best thing I could have done. What I needed to do was to reconnect with my enthusiam, find my spark for the things that I’m doing again. I needed to not worry about what was going on in the rest of the world, not try to figure out a plan for the next year, but just be and enjoy and land on my feet again. 

The big takeaway from all of this: it works! If you have to much going on, taking a break actually makes a difference. It does so in a slow, gradual way though. There is no big bang and all of a sudden inspiration hits. The body jut slowly regulates itself down, relaxes in to being rather than doing. It took me about two weeks of the four to start feeling more calm again. Then I started to notice how my mind was producing more interesting thoughts, how I had more bandwidth to pay attention to the signals my body was sending. On our mountain adventure I started getting really inspired around some of the topics I had been working with last year.  And finally I couldn’t wait to get back to work and start putting in to practice some of the ideas that had surfaced. 

Now it’s been 3 weeks since I started working again and I notice a fundamental difference: I don’t want to work as much anymore. Having reconnected with the beauty of life, the joy that I can experience when I’m doing the things I most love to do for their own sake, not for some higher purpose, I notice myself not having quite such an appetite for producing output, making change. And I actually think that’s a good thing. It enables me to engage the work that I do with integrity and in connection with myself, my body and the world around me. I feel like I’ve unlocked another level of “being the change” I want to see in the world and have taken another step in my development away from “grind culture”.

The moral of the story: you can overextend yourself even in the name of regeneration. And you can choose to stop doing so. Your body will recover if you let it. Enthusiasm, creativity and motivation will return. It’s okay to stumble, as long as you course correct when you notice.

If you’re experiencing similar challenges and want to get support, let me know, I’d be happy to chat!

Stress ist ungesund. Das ist nichts Neues. Sich gut um sich selbst zu kümmern sollte, wie ich finde, jedoch nicht nur eine abstrakte Tugend sein. Die kommt ja oft eh aus einer ideologisch etwas fragwürdigen Ecke: du hast dich gut um dich zu kümmern, dass du leistungsfähig sein kannst und dein Beitrag zum Bruttosozialprodukt angemessen ist. Viel lieber als eine verkürzte Erfolgsmetrik einer längst überholten Denkweise, will ich folgendes in den Fokus rücken: Selbstfürsorge ist ein Statement. Wie wir mit uns selbst umgehen ist ein Spiegel dessen, wie wir mit anderen umgehen. Oder anders herum. Und ich finde du hast es verdient dich wohl zu fühlen in deiner Haut, Lust zu haben auf das Leben, Raum zu haben für spontane Inspiration, Energiereserven, falls es mal doch nicht so läuft. Wirklich! Außerdem finde ich die Sichtweise “Ruhe als Widerstand” die Tricia Hersey groß gemacht hat auch sympathisch. Die Kurzversion: In einer Gesellschaft, die auf Leistung getrimmt ist, in der Ausbeutung und Zwang die Grundlage bilden, ist es ein revolutionärer Akt zu sagen: nein Danke, ich mach jetzt einen Mittagsschlaf.

Jetzt wo wir uns einig sind, dass Selbstfürsorge und Regenerative Praxis wirklich wichtig sind (sind wir doch oder?), ist die logische nächste Frage: und wie geht das eigentlich, mich so richtig gut um mich selbst kümmern? Da muss ich dir leider sagen: das musst du am Ende für dich selbst herausfinden, wie genau du das am Besten machst. Ich will hier dennoch teilen, was ich für mich gefunden habe, ein Menü von Praktiken anbieten, die dir vielleicht auch liegen. Probier’ doch mal was aus und schau wie es dir taugt.

Morgenlicht

Morgendliches Sonnenlicht in die Augen zu bekommen regt die, sorgt für eine ausgeglichene Hirnchemie gibt Energie und trägt zu einem erholsamen Schlaf bei. Wenn es sonnig ist reichen schon 10 min, wenn es bewölkt ist sind 30 min empfehlenswert. Am besten sobald wie möglich nach dem Aufstehen eine Runde spazieren gehen, das regt auch den Kreislauf an und bringt den Körper in Schwung. Wenn du mehr darüber wissen willst, wie das genau funktioniert erzählt dir Ander Huberman hier alles was dich interessieren könnte.

Box Breathing

Diese Atemtechnik hilft auf einer physiologischen Ebene besser mit Stress umgehen zu können und gleichmäßiger zu atmen. Wenn du täglich nur 5 Minuten übst, lernt dein Körper grundsätzlich tiefer und langsamer zu atmen, weil du CO2 besser tolerieren kannst. Tieferes Atmen und vor allem langsames Ausatmen gibt unserem Nervensystem ein Signal zur Entspannung. Die positiven Effekte von Box Breathing sind inzwischen gut erforscht – hier erfährst du alles was du wissen musst.

Assoziatives Schreiben

Um nicht endlos lang über Dingen, die mich beschäftigen zu brüten, finde ich assoziatives Schreiben sehr effektiv. Meistens mache ich das in der Früh, nach einem Spaziergang und es ist wirklich simpel: stell dir einen Timer für 10 Minuten, setz dich an deinen Schreibtisch mit Stift und Papier und fang einfach an zu schreiben, was dir in den Sinn kommt. Das Ziel ist für 10 Minuten ununterbrochen zu schreiben und wenn möglich den Stift nicht abzusetzen. Es geht dabei nicht darum akkurat zu beschreiben was passiert ist, eine schöne Geschichte zu erzählen oder nur die Gedanken aufzuschreiben, die dir gefallen. Der Sinn ist, einfach mal alles, so ungefiltert wie möglich rauszulassen. Du musst das hinterher niemandem zeigen, kannst es sogar wenn du magst sofort vernichten. In Phasen, in denen ich diese Praxis konsequent täglich mache bemerke ich, dass es mir leichter fällt starke Reaktionen oder Hirngespinste vorbeiziehen zu lassen, anstatt mich darin zu verfangen und dass ich insgesamt klarer und präsenter bin. Dieser Effekt stellt sich meistens schon nach ein paar Tagen ein.

Soziale Verbindung

Wir Menschen sind soziale Wesen. Wenn wir nicht regelmäßig Erfahrungen von tiefer Verbindung machen, tendieren wir zu einem Zustand der Daueranspannung. Es ist erstaunlich wie heilsam es sein kann sich in einem Kontext wiederzufinden, in dem wir das Gefühl haben wirklich wir selbst sein zu können, keine Erwartungen erfüllen zu müssen, unterstützt zu werden und auch etwas zu anderen beitragen zu können. Um solche Momente bewusst herbeizuführen habe ich eine Praxis Namens “Crewing” für mich entdeckt. Dabei treffe ich mich regelmäßig alle zwei Wochen oder einmal im Monat mit 3-4 befreundeten Personen und wir verbringen 90 Minuten damit uns gegenseitig bei Herausforderunen zu unterstützen, denen wir uns gegenüber sehen, gemeinsam zu reflektieren oder zu feiern was gerade richtig gut läuft. Eine Crew ist dabei eine stabile Konstellation, sodas über die Zeit mehr Tiefe möglich wird. Alles was du über Crewing wissen musst um loszulegen und Vorschläge dafür, wie eine Crew Session laufen kann, findest du unter microsolidarity.cc und hier. Frag mich auch gern, wenn du mehr darüber wissen willst – ich unterstütze gern dabei eine Crew ins Leben zu rufen!

Ich könnte hier jetzt noch über genügend Bewegung, Ernährung, Schlaf und vieles mehr schreiben, doch diese 4 Praktiken waren für mich im vergangenen Jahr mit Abstand am einflussreichsten. Wenn ich mehr finde, werde ich es hier in der Zukunft noch hinzufügen. Und was funktioniert für dich gut? Lass es mich gern in einem Kommentar oder per email an hello@jonasgroener.com wissen 🙂

TLDR (by ChatGPT):

The author reflects on their experience co-hosting a microsolidarity summer camp and the challenges they faced in shared leadership. They encountered a fearful and power-seeking aspect of themselves when the group dynamics shifted, leading to feelings of discomfort and uncertainty about their role in the community. The article emphasizes the importance of letting go of familiar roles, facing uncertainty with self-responsibility, and embracing the opportunity for personal growth and new, meaningful roles within the evolving community.

Long form:

While co-hosting the microsolidarity summer camp this past week, I had a profound and humbling experience: I came up against a fearful and power seeking part of me, that I hadn’t met before. Scary as it was it turned out to be one of the most meaningful things to happen to me in a long time. Here is the story:

Jocelyn and I had been working together to set up a minimum viable structure for the camp, meaning the least amount of structure needed to enable everyone to exercise their agency and co-shape the experience according to their needs, values, skills and gifts. Practically this means we held an opening circle introducing some principles (make it your own, partnership + mutual support, be curious about others, if you feel good: take a risk and try something new) and introduced Open Space Technology as the primary means of organizing our shared time at the camp. Throughout the whole week we facilitated a morning circle at 11:30 each day, consisting of a check-in, space for any logistical announcements from the team and participants, and populating the open space board with offerings for the day. Holding this role of facilitator made me feel good: I knew what my role was, how I could contribute to the larger whole and I was respected for it. This role contributed to a sense of belonging and safety that enabled me to walk up to people that I was curious about and just strike up a conversation, but I also felt a sense of responsibility for the well-being of our temporary community.

We knew that by Friday our number would grow by roughly 50% from 38 to 56 people. To take the load off the hosting team and to share the opportunity for practicing hosting with other participants, Rich and Jocelyn briefed a group of willing folks on how to welcome people – microsolidarity style. This deserves a whole article in itself, which might or might not follow soon. Anyhow, they did a great job at briefing and our friends did a great job at welcoming. So good that on Friday I didn’t even notice how many people had trickled in throughout the day. When the first batch of participants had arrived on Tuesday I was busy for most of the day showing people around, getting them settled in and orienting them in what would happen next. On Friday on the other hand I spent most of my time napping, chatting with people or hosting an Open Space session. In itself this is a huge success: we set out to decentralize our power and responsibility and it worked!

However as the day went on and in the evening everyone had gotten there, I noticed that I somehow felt really off balance. It took me a while to figure out what was up. I first noticed being annoyed at the new people for being there. Then I noticed feeling frustrated about our minimal plan for the opening circle, because part of me wanted to take more space and feel more important. I noticed all these things and didn’t quite trust myself to follow these impulses, so I held back and followed the lead of my co-facilitator, who that day was on top of her game and I knew her intuitions would be spot on (which also annoyed part of me, because I wanted to be the one to bring those brilliant ideas…). After holding a powerful and snappy welcome circle for the newcomers we sat down with the hosting team for a check-in. When my turn came I finally was able to put in to words what had been bugging me for hours: Part of me was afraid of losing my standing in the community. Up until now I knew my role, I was needed and felt good about my contribution. Now that the group had managed to integrate a whole new batch of participants on it’s own, part of me feared not having a place anymore: Will I still belong if I’m not holding this role? Will people still respect me?

Holding on to power out of a fear of not belonging is a really great way to fuck up a budding self-organizing social project. Had I not stepped aside to let others run the show, the experience would have been really icky for everyone. I came up against a growth edge there: can I hold the parts of myself that have a wound around belonging with compassion? Can I get their needs met, maybe by asking a friend to share some appreciation with me or by confirming with my co-host that we’re a great team? That day I couldn’t, I was a bit sulky and not very present. After a long walk with Rich who is a bit of a mentor to me in this space, I saw what was to be gained though: When I’m not busy holding or planning circles, because the group can do it on their own, I can become part of the group again, I can dive in more fully without having to hold the frame up. I’m free to focus on longer term vision with those that are also interested, or go deep with the people I’m curious about. I could offer more focused support to those that are stepping up to co-hold the structure together, or listen carefully to those who are not happy with how we are running the show. In short: once my capacity is freed up, because the group is holding itself largely, I am free to find a new, interesting and important role.

This is where self-responsibility and the capacity to face uncertainty with equanimity comes in. When I was setting up the structure for the week with Jocelyn and holding that structure in the first couple of days my job was fairly simple. I knew what to do and how to do it and there wasn’t much brain capacity left to think outside of that. This made me feel secure. Now being faced with a choice, having come to a point where my old role had dissolved, I couldn’t know for sure what would be a good next step, because I hadn’t been at that point before. A situation like this puts human brains in to high alert: new situation = potentially a lot of new threats. Being anxious, hyperalert and seeing danger around every corner in new environments is how we survived the past millennia. So the impulse of my anxious brain was to go back to the safety of my old role and hold on to the power it came with, when actually what I needed to do, was to look the uncertainty in the eye, stay with the discomfort of not knowing, and just start experimenting again.

Sometimes it can be frustrating to reach a new stage of development and feel like having to start all over again. When we accept the gift and surrender to not knowing, we gain access to our inner voice of wisdom, that got us there in the first place. This is all we need to master the next challenges really: just listen and surrender, listen and surrender. If you want to be in collaborative leadership, you have to be willing to let go of the roles you are comfortable with and adapt to what the context asks of you. Being of service to a greater whole can mean different things at different moments in time.